


I Fear No Fate (For You Are My Fate)

by rangerhitomi



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:39:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3424814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rangerhitomi/pseuds/rangerhitomi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryoga knows that he might feel inadequate and undeserving of Yuma’s love, but Yuma has pledged it to him and shown it to him and maybe he deserves it after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Fear No Fate (For You Are My Fate)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seventhstar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seventhstar/gifts).



> Sequel return gift fic to penwalla's "Heart, Could We Bear the Marvel of this Thing"

The dim green numbers on the alarm clock read  _3:44 AM_ and Ryoga has been staring at them since  _11:32 PM_  and each minute that passes comes faster than the last. But he can’t sleep because he knows what will happen when it’s time for him to wake, and sleeping will make the time go by so fast he won’t even have time to realize that he was asleep, and when it  _is_ time to wake up, he’s going to have to put on those nice clothes that Rio helped him pick out and he’s going to have to walk down that narrow stretch of grass to where  _he_ will be waiting, smiling, and-

-god, Ryoga isn’t sure he can do it, because what if  _he_ doesn’t want to go through with it, what if  _he_ decides they’re better off where they are, what  _if-_

A soft snort precedes Yuma’s face pressing into the space between his shoulder blades, and Yuma’s hand flops over Ryoga’s waist. A familiar purple plush is in Yuma’s hand, and for some reason, the sight of Mr. Squishy calms Ryoga enough.

* * *

 

Ryoga comes home, hands full of bags and gifts that Rio had helped him wrap, and he hopes it’s enough for Yuma, who deserves more than Ryoga could ever give him. He announces himself, plopping the bags in the entryway, and Yuma calls for him from the darkened living room. That’s odd in itself; Yuma always greets him at the door with a smile and a kiss, but as Ryoga walks into the living room, he feels like he’s walked into a very bizarre dream.

The only light comes from candles that smell of sandalwood and amber, and sitting on the couch in a pair of red, lacy women’s underwear and a sheer top is his fiancé – and how unreal, how strange that he could call Yuma that, after everything he did to Yuma, but Yuma’s heart is an endless fount of forgiveness and love and mercy, even to those who don’t deserve it – who has a tiny smile on his face, a shy smile, as he pats the seat next to him.

“Hi Shark.”

Ryoga doesn’t know if laughing would hurt Yuma’s feelings, or if Yuma would laugh with him, because Yuma looks a bit nervous, and anxious, and when Ryoga sits next to him he smells the cologne he never told Yuma he really liked but Yuma just  _knew_  and the sight of Yuma trying so hard to be _sexy_  was actually…  _really sexy_ , and left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“You do know our honeymoon starts  _tomorrow_ , right?”

Yuma leans into him and laughs a bit, and Ryoga relaxes. “I wanted to give you a preview of what our lives together will be like until we realize that we have taxes and mortgage payments and utility bills-”

Ryoga silences him with a firm kiss. Maybe it is a bit too forceful but Yuma doesn’t seem to mind, and pulls his legs up on the couch as he leans into it, hands on either side of Ryoga’s waist. It’s bliss, it’s  _heaven,_  and Ryoga pulls Yuma closer as they fall back onto the couch.

“Wait, wait,” Yuma breathes, pulling his face away, and Ryoga represses the sigh threatening to escape him.

“What?”

“I have something for you.”

Ryoga slides his hands from Yuma’s shoulders to his satin-covered waist as Yuma sits up. “Something other than you in women’s undergarments, you mean?”

Yuma sticks out his tongue and leans over to a small box on the coffee table. “I saw these molds at the mall today so I made some chocolate for you. Here.”

Before Ryoga can question the fact that Yuma had attempted to cook something for him – a task that Yuma rarely attempted and even more rarely succeeded at when it came to anything but rice and steamed vegetables – Yuma shoves one of the chocolates in Ryoga’s mouth.

It’s a bit too gritty, maybe too much sugar, but it’s not  _bad_  and it melts on Ryoga’s tongue. “Are you feeding me chocolates at eight-thirty in the evening for a reason? I won’t sleep if I have too much sugar-”

Yuma tries to shove another one in his mouth but Ryoga grabs his hand just in time and looks at it. It’s a little chocolate shark, and he can’t help but laugh because it’s so  _cute_.

“It’s you,” Yuma whispers, and this time he succeeds in shoving it in Ryoga’s mouth. “You’re my shark, and you’re sweet and make me so happy.”

Ryoga’s face flushes, and it’s a wonder to him that after all this time, Yuma can still make him feel like he’s a fourteen year old kid, can still make his face turn red and his heart race and his fingertips tingle. Yuma’s other hand brushes Ryoga’s hair from his face, and Ryoga can feel the cool metal of Yuma’s engagement ring, the ring he had given Yuma in a moment of panic and despair and self-loathing, the ring that Ryoga often caught Yuma gazing at and turning over in his hands and holding close to his heart.  _You give me hope,_  he had told Yuma, and Yuma had smiled and kissed him and soon Ryoga had a matching ring, and Yuma had wanted him to know that  _you give me a future._

Yuma reaches for a third, but Ryoga’s starting to feel the sugar and there’s a noticeable bulge in Yuma’s satin panties and Ryoga laughs a little and rests his hands on the waistband.

“Why are you wearing these?”

Yuma squirms a little, and it had to be uncomfortable for Yuma to shove himself in those things but he presses his hands to Ryoga’s chest and fiddles with the buttons on his shirt. “You mentioned once that you wanted to see me in this kind of thing, so I thought-”

Ryoga grabs Yuma’s hands and helps him start unbuttoning his shirt. There’s a smile on Yuma’s face and Ryoga leans up to give him a quick kiss on the lips. “It was a joke, Yuma. But you know,” he adds, sliding his hands back to Yuma’s waist, “you’d probably be more comfortable with these off.”

* * *

 

The dim green numbers on the alarm clock now read 5:41 AM and Ryoga is awake again. Yuma hasn’t moved from his position behind Ryoga, face pressed into Ryoga’s back and arm around his waist. He doesn’t want to move because he doesn’t want to wake Yuma, but his dream had gone from a wonderful evening with Yuma on the couch to a horrible memory, where he had stood in the streets of his kingdom as they burned around him, people dead and dying and him unable to save them. He has them all the time, and it’s a miracle he didn’t cry out in his sleep again-

“Shark?”

Or maybe he did, and now that he is more aware, Yuma’s arm is a little bit tighter around him, his face pressed harder into his back.

“Yeah?” Ryoga’s voice is shaky. He hates this, he hates feeling weak. In his dreams he is most vulnerable, in his dreams he relives the guilt and the loss and the pain that he had received and inflicted, in his dreams he is reminded that his years with Yuma are short reprieves from three lifetimes of self-hatred and suffering.

Yuma shifts so that his face is pressed in the crook of Ryoga’s neck, and his hand fumbles for Ryoga’s in the dimness. “You called for him again.”

There’s no hint of bitterness or jealousy in his voice, but Ryoga feels the guilt of it anyway, and he grips Yuma’s hand. Sometimes, trapped in his memories, he calls out for the one person he knows is there, the one person other than his sister that he had known through all three lives. And Yuma suspects, and probably knows, that Nasch and Durbe had loved each other, and that Durbe had been Nasch’s first – and, until Yuma, his only – and had Nasch never become Ryoga Kamishiro, they would probably have rekindled what they had once shared. But Ryoga Kamishiro had tried for so long to shove Nasch away, to focus on the future –  _you are my future_ , the ring around his finger says – and the future is him and Yuma.

“I’m sorry,” is all Ryoga can whisper, and he’s- god, he’s crying again. He can’t escape it, no matter how hard he tries, and he longs to be free of his past, to discard it, but it’s shaped him, and it torments him.

Yuma shushes him gently and presses his body closer. His bare chest is warm against Ryoga’s bare back. “Don’t be sorry. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

He has an infinite capacity for forgiveness and love, and Ryoga supposes he was always a bit jealous of others that Yuma showed this love to. His openness and warmth and compassion were free to anyone who needed it, and Ryoga was a frequent recipient of it. This, perhaps, was the reason Ryoga could never know for sure if Yuma’s love for him was quite the same as his love for Yuma. And even if Yuma loved him the way he loved Yuma, how long would Yuma be able to cope with the other two beings in Ryoga’s head, the ones that woke him up at night and kept him from moving forward?

“We’re getting married in six hours,” Yuma whispers, and the words bring Ryoga back to the  _now_  – god, this is really happening, isn’t it, he… he loves _me_ and he’s going to marry  _me_! – and it only makes him cry harder and now Yuma’s crying into the back of his neck and Ryoga tries not to think that Yuma might realize what he’s doing as he puts on his suit and that he might decide he’s better off making a run for it and hopping the nearest plane to Denmark or somewhere where he’d spend the rest of his life herding reindeer.

So he voices his concerns as carefully as he can. “You’ll be waiting for me at the altar, right?”

Yuma kisses the back of his neck. “I spent so long chasing after you. Why would I turn back now?”

* * *

 

(The sky is a little cloudy, but the photographer is ecstatic because it’s good lighting, and it’s nice because it’s not too hot as Rio escorts Ryoga down the grassy lawn to the boardwalk overlooking the sea, but all Ryoga sees when they approach the altar is Yuma; Yuma, wearing a black suit with a red bow tie and a nervous smile, and Kazuma is there in the front row with Mirai, and it’ll be nice to have parents again, Ryoga thinks, and the other Barian lords are sitting behind them – Gilag and Alit and Mizael and Durbe and… and even Vector, who looks like he’s not sure he should be there at all and is sitting a few seats away from Mizael and Durbe, whose hands are touching so discreetly that Ryoga almost misses it. They all smile at him, even Mizael, and he smiles back and turns his attention back to the young man waiting for him.

The officiator drones on about two young souls brought together, and how they could be together for the rest of their lives, but Ryoga stops listening because all he wants to do is take Yuma in his arms and kiss him and skip the reception and get Yuma back in those silk panties and then promptly out of them again while Yuma feeds him homemade chocolate sharks.

And besides, what’s the rest of their lives when they could rank up together forever?

Everyone is looking at him and Yuma has a slightly worried look in his eyes and Ryoga realizes too late that he was supposed to say “I do,” but the words seem so empty and meaningless, so he grips Yuma’s hand and makes his own vows.

“I will give you my heart and my soul, and our future will bring worlds together.”

The officiator looks puzzled and Yuma’s face crumples and he starts crying and it’s not exactly what Ryoga had in mind, but when it comes Yuma’s turn to say “I do,” he chokes out instead, “I will give you  _my_ heart and soul, and our hope will illuminate the darkness.”

Yuma flings his arms around Ryoga’s waist as they kiss, and it’s deep and powerful and Ryoga knows that he might feel inadequate and undeserving of Yuma’s love, but Yuma has pledged it to him and shown it to him and maybe he deserves it after all.

Most of all, he thinks as they finally pull back and gaze at each other, maybe Yuma can pull Ryoga Kamishiro from the past into the present and help him to never look back.)


End file.
